Friday, November 20, 2009

If it weren't for Jesus, I would be SUCH a mess! Actually, some days, I'm a mess regardless...but without Him, I would have no hope of returning to the land of the living, the sane, the level-headed. Even in the deep, dark valley of overflowing, gut wrenching female emotions...He is there. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he restores my soul (I think David was in touch with his feminine side). I don't know where it came from, but a clear rainbow covered the white washed ceiling above my bed yesterday. How did He know I would laying there in the middle of the day, staring blankly at it? He keeps His promises. He knows what we feel and He feels it. Hope. What a Father! His rod and staff, they comfort me...His correction and guidance give me GREAT comfort. Have I mentioned lately how much I love Him? He is real...for real life...practical and powerful! Yes, I took my soy protein, got a good nights' sleep, I'm exercising and listening to music. Oh's going to be rainy today...better turn the music up a bit...make is Christmas :)

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Today is my Birthday. I'm 39 now...although I thought I was already 39 for most of this year before someone pointed out my error in the Spring. more year til the big 40. Many women go through a sort of mid life crisis thing at this age. Discontent with what they have done, or with what life has thrown at them for the first half of their visit to the planet. I must say, there are many thing I would like to have done by now, and still long to do, but that just gives me things to hope for, to look forward to.
I can't say that I have many regrets. I wish I had taken my High School years more seriously...studied harder, joined track and field, tried a harder to be in the musical and acted more mature (who doesn't). That may have provided a better foundation for the rest of my life. However, God had His hand in the whole thing. My plans are not usually His, and His are always better...even the bad parts. I can see His intervention in important decisions I have made and His loving correction when I have strayed. Like Abraham, I am learning to just get up and go where He leads, with more faith and fewer questions. Actually, It's more like staying where He has asked me to stay with greater faith. I'm naturally a "get up and go" kind of person. I like adventure and change. It takes more faith for me to do the stay the course...wait patiently for the mighty working of God. God is not impressed with my hasty, pleasure seeking, but He is with faithfulness, patience and my willingness to do what does not come naturally for His sake.
I am so thankful for my existence, my purpose, my history, the grace of my marriage and kids, but most of all, for my unbelievably wise, faithful, affectionate, patient forever Father in heaven. He gently walks with me, doing what is best for me and...praise His name...He has taught me to appreciate that.
"Jesus loves you just the way you are...but he doesn't want you to stay that way. He wants you to become just like Him." Max Lucado