Saturday, January 30, 2010


North America, home sweet home, has to be one of the hardest places in the world to live. Spiritually, that is. You know the truth of God, from His Word, then turn around and get bombarded with the opposite message and temptations...constantly. The hymn "I need Thee every hour" comes to mind. Especially when it comes to raising kids the way God asked me to. This privilege is exhausting. It would be SO easy to park them in front of a TV screen, hand them Fruit Loops, send them off to school for most of the day, take them to a club of some kind in the evening then get a babysitter on the weekends for a "Mom break". What would I need a break from? Not that it's wrong for people to send their kids to school, but for me it is...He asked me to homeschool. They didn't have public schools in Bible times, so it was not addressed in scripture...how to raise kids was however, so if you can fulfill those mandates with the cooperation of your school, more power to ya Sister!
At times, those sleek, impressive wardrobes, those coffee breaks with "the girls", those one-at-a-time tasks that your job requires of you, those hours you spend looking at four different walls and that pay check look pretty tempting. Then other times...most times...my comfy yoga pants, coffee breaks when I actually want one, the pleasure of successfully multitasking, the snow covered mountain in my backyard view to feast my eyes upon and the priceless joy of being the one to band aid my kids and video tape them laughing up a storm...these things refresh my home page.
I am only human, a human whose heart has been changed by a powerful God, but still battles the flesh I am yet trapped in. I don't want to be the poster woman for North America...she is my friend and I like her, but I think she is missing something...something she can never get back.

Saturday, January 23, 2010


Truth and beauty...beauty and truth. I remember Dr. Mantz (wonderful English Prof) asking about the relationship between these two things in college. I had no idea what he was getting at, nor did I care at that time. I just wanted class to be over so I could play a game of pool, hang out with friends in the "mall" and go to a movie. The age old, deep question was thrown at me again as I was reading a book by Charles Colson ("The Good Life"). I get it now!!!! I think I get it! Without becoming too confusion or boring, I think this is the relationship:

God is truth, without Him everything would just be...relative...even though nothing would even "be" without Him. He makes the rules, He decides what is right or wrong, not us. There IS an answer for every question under the sun, no matter what Deepak Chopra says...we just have to be determined enough to look for it. OK...so...God is also beauty. Just look around, you don't even have to be a believer to have your breath taken away from the sight of a sunset, a symphony, a newborn or a flower in full bloom. Beauty awakens us to life's greatest questions...it shakes us to wake us. Beauty can't be ignored...that's why we work so hard to look good...TO GET YOUR FULL ATTENTION ;) Beauty helps us discover truth...and there is no greater discovery to be made. I'm not sure that Dr. Mantz would give me a good grade on this thought, but at least I am willing to think about it now...now that only dishes, laundry and sibling rivalry await. Ah, college...those were the good ole' days...

Saturday, January 9, 2010



I was thinking out loud to a friend the other day about discontentment. I have pathological, chronic discontentment...sometimes...I also have pathological, chronic mood swings :) My poor, emotionally stable (deprived) husband gets a bit queezy on my hormonal roller coaster...but he holds on tight (to me) and rides the waves valiantly! Anyway...I sometimes get daydreamy about living in another place, doing different things...because I like change and new adventures. I know I am where God wants me to be right now and that's a good thing. His truth sets me free! As I continued my thinking out loud, to my $0 per hour shrink, I imagined where I might want to go to live and what I might do. By the end of my harlequin romance, I realized everything I imagined was just another version of where I am now and what I am already doing. Where would I live? Some small town, out in the country, with playful kids and bread in the oven...and I really don't want to leave the Maritimes. What would I do? I would be managing my home, creating a warm, rich, stable place for my family. Sounds familiar. I know that my physical vision has never been good...I totally rely on my contact lenses to see clearly...I guess my spiritual vision needs a hand too.
It's so true, We often know the answers to our questions already, we just need a few moments and a patient, loving, listening ear to re-realize them. If we will stop looking for more, we will find we already have.

PS: We emotionally charged people are often undervalued...life would be absolutely NO fun without us!!!!!! :)