Junior High Blues and Maple Sugar



I'm sitting here at the computer, lost in the sax solo of Christopher Cross's "Arthur's Theme". Such an 80's girl, I am. That guy has such an amazing voice and writing ability. He may have lasted a lot longer if he had had better camera appeal. I mean, he just looks like the guy eating a sloppy hot dog next to you at a hockey game. Not much "star" power with Mr. Cross. I guess that was critical in the age of music videos, so he fell by the wayside. Except for this chic...sitting in the middle of nowhere...enjoying his "Minstrel Gigolo" and "Sailing" away with my thoughts.

Who really cares what people think about his music anyway, right? One of my favorite quotes, by someone unknown, is this:

"Opinions are like armpits. Everyone has a couple and they usually stink."

This has become our motto at Ladies Bible Study lately. Not that we don't care to hear your opinion, we do! That's why we gather...to allow our questions and opinions to be aired. But not to solidify them in stone, or to painfully grasp each others' head and "mind meld" with one another until we are of like mind. Our opinions or questions are brought out, then the opinion of all opinions is sought after heartily...in the scriptures. We might not leave with all the answers nor in complete agreement with God on the subject, but our being there is an expression of our desire to know what He thinks. We admit His authority on all things and are willing to be challenged on our thinking... and even changed.

I think sometimes, we don't really need people to agree with us, we just want to be heard. Truly and respectfully heard. It brings such value to us, to think that someone else cares enough to put their opinion aside and consider our point of view.

My parents always did this with us. No matter how trivial or ridiculous my thought was, they listened...sometimes with a hidden smirk, but still listening. If I was standing in the middle of the busy street and a car was rushing toward me, they insisted that I listen to them and obey first, but they heard my rebuttal after the life saving obedience. Most times, it was not a defense of my traffic violations (and there were a few), but maybe more like...expressing my disappointment that they thought my two perfectly controlled and sweet sisters had done NOTHING to provoke me into pushing one blonde head under the damp, insect infested basement carpet edge. Or maybe patiently hearing my regular moaning of rejection by boys in Junior high school. Not that I made any advancements to be rejected, but where was the line of male suitors with flowers in hand at my front door?? Didn't everyone else have that?? My faithful Wall Flower friend and I sat pathetically dreaming at the dances together...the two of us...and Christopher Cross. She's a happily married mom of two now and a school Principal. We got over it. I digress...

My point is, listeners are invaluable. My dear husband and I used to waste hours on bickering over who was right and who wasn't being loving. Now, we have learned to cuddle up to the other with a respectful voice of "Could I have your ear for a moment? I promise I'll be gentle." the other...ready for a challenge, but turning the defenses down...listens. Surprisingly, when the approach is custom made and empty of pride or anger, the other one is often quick to agree and ready to "work on it".

Huh...all I had to do all those years was pour on the sweetness and he would have been putty in my hand. I'm just not that good at sweetness when I'm mad. I often don't remember anything that I said when I'm mad. I'm nasty when I'm mad. I zip my mouth when I'm mad now. So that I don't wake up to Hiroshima when the anger subsides. My husband likes me much more now...and the kids too...so do I, really. It's not easy to zip my mouth, but with age comes more self control and after a gazillion instances of hurtful words, you start to see that it doesn't work...for anyone.

Pour the sweetness on...he listens...I'm heard...no one is a puddle on the floor...I like it!

People listen when our approach is respectful and humble. It only took me 20 years to get it, but I think the next 20 will be much more cuddly and warm...with more flowers...and chocolate. Actually, I'm more of a Maritime maple sugar kind of girl...just saying. In case you are reading this someday, Sweetheart...I really like maple sugar.

This is another reason why I like blogging. I get the sense that someone is listening...and I can't hear the critical responses :) People are free to block my link (and I'm sure some do), but I'm not offended...cause I have no idea they did! Cool...blogging. Now I can put on cyber-paper all of those speeches I find myself making to no one. Well...maybe not ALL of them.

Thanks for listening :)


Comments

Johanna Marie said…
Hmmm....really enjoyed that reading that...now to try and practice it in real life :) ~ Rachel F.