Peephole People

Opportunity knocks. Do I open the door or pretend I'm not home?? 

I've been talking to my kids a lot lately about opportunity...not for advancement, but for negative influences or even deadly assaults. See, I was informed by one of my dear ragamuffins that he or she should be given allowance to do most everything and only have it taken away if they use it improperly. I do believe that facebook was one of the things that they "deserve" to have. Obviously, I like facebook, but I also like driving a car and I still refuse to let my 9 year old drive through Montreal on summer vacation. Someday, she may...just after she administers a mild sedative to her mother in the back seat. Call me overcautious, but I also think it a bad idea to go pub crawling among flesh craving 40 something men, even though I'm completely content with my own husband. I suppose the argument might be stronger if I used an example of something I actually desire to do...even a little bit. 

The point is, testing your resolve to do right by putting yourself in tempting situations is foolish. For younger people whose brains are not completely and fully developed yet, the classification of situations as "tempting" or "dangerous" should be left up to Mom, Dad, Grandparents and in some cases, even your dog with his instinctive sniffer. Not to insult young people...it's a biological thing. I think teens should be encouraged to recognize their capabilities and develop the guts to live within reality. They are much stronger than society gives them credit for. Giving teens the "follow your heart" line or "you need to make your own choices now" is nice and all, but real life and consequences are no respecters of niceness and good intentions. We don't live in a movie script with happy endings all the time...and loving our kids always means saying "no" at times...let's be real...a lot of times.
 

These questionable situations are not always bad nor good for everyone across the board. They must be custom made labels based on the bent of each person considering participation. I never felt it a bad thing for me to enter a bar as a teenager. The temptations there on a scale from 1 to 10 was about a -30. The only bad thing I would have been tempted to participate in there would have been judgmentalism toward the drinkers. But for the next 17 year old, trying to forget the pain they left outside the bar door, opportunity for many dangers is higher than the room's collective partiers. Outside of things like murder, lying and wearing pastel pink, I'm convinced that each child God has graced us with has different needs and may require different guidelines than the others.

In our desire to develop high self-esteem in our children (and to be a cool parent) we often put our precious kids at unseen risk. Sometimes I hate the fact that I see danger in things and long for blissful ignorance, but I'm trying to change my perspective. I should be very thankful for the insights God reveals to me in order to do my Mom job properly. The time, effort and grief that is often required in parenting is admittedly high, but in this case, the cliche "I'd do anything for my kid" would be appropriate.

Be wise...be prudent...be safe...use the peephole before opening the door to your home and those treasured souls that reside there.

"...and do not give the devil an opportunity." Ephesians 4:27