Saturday, January 16, 2016

Fake Eyelashes for a Storm

I went to town yesterday to buy groceries, by myself. It was crazy there because snow is coming this weekend and people may be stranded in their homes for a couple of days. They need supplies to make it through, I guess. Upon watching the items people had in their shopping carts and stood in long lineups to acquire, pop, scratch tickets and fake eyelashes are some of the essentials these days. Two young ladies had an intense, stressful conversation over which eyelashes to buy. Finally, they gave up, threw down the complicated pair and just decided to weather the storm without them. 

I indulged in a small Tim's, double cream, before coming home and watched the other orders put together at the speed of light. Very tall cups, whipped cream, chocolate sauce...I wonder if they do this everyday or just today for a celebration? My little cup seemed so small and sugarless. The buyers of the eyelashes and tall sugary drink didn't look any happier than I am. In fact I don't they were even smiling. The unhealthy looking lady with the hand full of scratch tickets at the gas station didn't either. I drove away with my double cream, smiled and said "I am nothing. Thank you God for this cup!" I don't want to make fun of the people, I do it myself in lots of ways. I want to make fun of the idea. Realize how silly it is.

This Christmas afforded me the time to read Andrew Murray's Absolute Surrender. I will read it again. How practically he applies the truth of how undeserving, totally dependent and loved we are by all powerful God. This attitude opens the door to contentment and joy. It rips wide open the stage curtain between reality and the play that is being performed all around us. The potential we have in Christ to live free, helpful, excited and true is astounding. Learning to tap into that power is an honor. The ability to take thoughts captive, see past the commercialism, to refuse participation in the entitlement mentality and live thankful, different...invisible. Invisible to myself.
Murray suggests that we often repeat "I am nothing" throughout the day, in order to gain and keep humility which leads to joy. It's counter-cultural for sure. I didn't see much of  the "I am nothing" attitude on town faces and I had to intentionally make mine upon leaving desired items behind.  "I am nothing" is good. It doesn't bring you down, but it allows something better to lift you up. "I am nothing" opens the van door and sees it half full rather than half empty. It makes me giggle alone in a line up of frustrated scramblers. Honestly, trying to keep myself from turning to the one in front of me and saying something like "If you would just let go of these scratch tickets and trust Jesus, you might be less stressed".

 Really, I think about doing that. I don't usually. Maybe I should. Am I hoarding my joy? I stop myself because I think there is no time to get into a conversation, or because I have trouble just saying just a little bit. I'm not afraid of rejection...I'll never see them again and I'm not afraid of the PC police either. I think it's the disbelief that my few words or smile will do anything for the eyelash ladies. They need a sermon, small group meeting or something. No. Spurgeon was changed through the few words of a time restrained, unprepared preacher who said only, "Look to the Lord".

This free fall thing, I am nothing, let go of the happy scramble and live supernaturally is awesome. A perfect God, who loves perfectly, powerfully and every moment is joy. No scramble, extra large latte with whipped cream and a shot of chocolate, no need. No, all I need is to have the courage to share the secret by one smiling sentence, with the unhealthy looking, half hair dyed lady in the line, clutching her tickets tightly.

A storm is coming. Make sure you have a good supply of eyelashes on hand...just in case.